Dave

This is Dave. He told me guys like him end up in one of three places: jail, institutions, or dead. But he avoided such fate through AA, surfing, and now golf. Here’s his wild tale.

The Hawaiian Island of Oahu is a surfing Mecca, where winds and currents create picture-perfect waves for avid surfers. A unique feature is the smooth channel for surfers to paddle back out without waves crashing on them.

“Don’t go alone, just follow the pack,” locals told me.

These famous waves attracted Dave, an LA native, to Hawaii 20+ years ago. I met him on the first tee of Ala Wai Golf Course, often referred to as “America’s busiest muni,” right in the heart of Honolulu.

Dave’s path to Hawaii, though, had more turns than its winding local roads.

Dave’s parents split when he was young, and he worked for his dad’s roofing business in LA where he had dreams of pro skating/surfing.

“By roofing I could see which homes had empty pools, then I’d skate for a month before getting busted.”

In the ‘80s he worked the hottest nightclubs in LA, diving headfirst into the party scene with the rising popularity of cocaine and alcohol. Dave was plucked out of LA to become a model in Europe and lived there for seven years until his party-hard lifestyle derailed his career.

Next he chased waves (and girls) to Oahu, working as a waiter.

“I was the first guy in the liquor store at 6am buying a six pack of Heineken, a bottle of Jack, and a pack of cigarettes just to put myself to sleep before my 4pm shift at the restaurant.”

It was his rock bottom.

“I was either going to die, end up in an institution, or kill someone driving.”

He called AA to find a meeting.

Upon entering he saw his surf buddies, and they patted an empty chair saying, “This seat’s been waiting for you, brother.” These men eventually turned him onto golf.

Dave now leads a meeting on Tuesday nights for men from all walks. I asked his biggest takeaway from sobriety. 

“The recovery isn’t back at home in my head, the recovery is in the room with the other guys.”

His life of sobriety hasn’t always been blissful, as anyone in AA could attest. 

But Dave has found his pack, now leading them through the smooth channel of sobriety as much as they lead him.